Some Ideas to Improve the Valley

Create “Experimental Zones”

In certain depressed sections of the Valley north of Victory (Van Nuys Boulevard, Reseda Boulevard, Laurel Canyon) the city should encourage “Experimental Zones” where builders would erect apartments that are taller than normal (8-20 stories tall) with larger apartments (2-5 bedrooms) where families could live in comfort. These buildings would be modeled on the New York City plan where pedestrian entrances, doormen and public transportation are standard.

The wide boulevards should be split in half, so that the center of the street is planted with trees and laid out with park benches, trees, drinking fountains, decorative lighting, etc.

Streetcars would run up and down the street and connect with the new “Busway”. The trains would be refurbished older ones that are repainted. San Francisco has already done this.

A special tax would be levied on residents and business owners which would cover additional police, high security cameras, health clinics and after school programs. People who choose to live or work in this area would benefit from the additional services, and if they chose to not live there, they would not have to pay tax. Let higher taxes be optional.

Quality of Life Fines

There should be fines levied against property owners who do not remove graffiti from their buildings. Shopping carts which are left on the street should be ticketed and the owners of the carts (Ralphs, Costco, Target) should be fined $50 for every basket that the city has to retrieve.

Drivers who blast their stereos should pay fines. Red light runners should be ticketed $1500. Speeders and aggressive drivers should be pulled over and given $1000 tickets for first time offenses.

There should be local “old couch drop off centers” where the moldy old sofas can be dropped off by their former owners instead of sitting under the freeway.

Honking cars and people who park their cars in handicapped zones, even when they are not handicapped or old, should also be ticketed regularly.

Oxygen Centers

There must be “oxygen centers” placed around the Valley so that we can breathe clean air or at least refresh our lungs. The smog problem continues to plague us and there seems to be no let up in sight as SUV’s multiply.

Porn Schools

Since pornography is such an important part of the economy, we should build and finance “Pornography Schools” that teach important skills needed for porn actors, producers and health professionals. STD’s must be limited and eliminated and regular testing for HIV should be required. Any performer who does not pass his/her test would have the results posted on a website. Any studio who employed a performer infected with HIV would face fines and automatic shut down of facilities.

The schools would be accredited by the State of California and would employ experienced older porn actors who could teach younger and less experienced ones the skills necessary to succeed in the industry and what pitfalls and dangers to avoid.

Make Mini Malls into Mini Apartments

The gruesome mini-mall that has destroyed the urban fabric for the last 25 years, with its too few parking spots, garish signs in every unreadable language, and pink stucco exteriors, should be turned into garden apartments.

The front parking lots would be ripped up and grass, trees, fountains and benches would replace the asphalt. The little stores would be converted into little apartments suitable for students, artists, older people and the newly divorced.

Call Places by their Real Names

“Valley Village”, “Valley Glen” and “Lake Balboa” are a few of the moonscape names that have carved Old North Hollywood and West Van Nuys into amorphously non-sensical geographical areas. People who are visiting these places have absolutely no idea where they are located. The names given to these zip codes are evidence of escapism and racism as the mostly wealthier whites attempt to abandon their minority neighbors and escape into a semantic fantasyworld.

Victory and Sepulveda should call itself “Old Van Nuys”. Riverside and Laurel Canyon is “Old North Hollywood”. “Lake Balboa” is really North Park or South Airport Woods.

Tear Down the Steel Fencing

How many once lovely residential streets have been destroyed by the jail like iron fences that wall off one home from another? These “anti-crime” fences typically appear in the highest crime areas while lower crime areas feature picket fences, lavender and roses. If iron fencing truly makes a neighborhood safer, then why do gangs, graffiti and litter always end up next to the prison wall?