Forget elite and effete San Francisco, Boston and Miami with their hipsters, queens, fine dining, restaurants and trans-gendered decorators. For six months now, I have been crunching statistics and found that the best places for business in America are those areas with the biggest malls and the biggest behinds: Topeka, Kansas City, Louisville, Springfield, IL and Houston, TX.

People want big houses. They want big cars. They like wide roads. They like to eat a lot and they like to watch TV and play video games. Most of them don’t like to read, and they sure as hell don’t want elite Hollywood and Wall Street gurus telling them that they have to read and understand facts and logic.

Most of the backbone of America is highly religious, fanatically sports oriented, and strongly supports the war in Iraq, guns, and the right of Americans to oppose abortion and atheism. Our cities should reflect those values. Our cities that depend on restored historical districts, environmental preservation and anti-discrimination laws, are going to lose out in the race to build the most shopping centers and tract housing in the 21st Century.

The Inland Empire is one of the next great places to live in America. At a time when the average house in Los Angeles is $573,000, a real American family consisting of a man, his wife, daughter and son—can still afford to live only two hours from downtown Los Angeles in a $569,000 home. The $4,000 they save can buy them a new Hummer or Cadillac Escalade and many more hours wandering the Ontario Mills Outlet malls.

James Howard Kunstler and other extremists want to bring Americans back to a primitive time when they had to share transportation with other humans and live in cities surrounded by farms and forests. Those days are gone forever, and we should embrace our wonderful free market life in the most democratic and law abiding nation on Earth.

The next great city is not a city at all. It’s a game you play on your computer where you create a city that works. Or perhaps it’s a city that I imagine exists so that I can continue to collect a paycheck from my think-tank employer. That’s my kind of town.