General Motors has jealously watched the revived Ford Mustang’s success and is planning its own resurrection of the Camaro for 2007.
Yet looking at the Mustang, and most cars on the road today, there is something missing. From the Toyota Camry to the Audi Q7, these cars are eons more technologically advanced than the ones we drove 40 or 50 years ago. Yet in personality, it is really difficult to distinguish between the thousands of bland, homogenized and engineered vehicles that clog our roads today.
Growing up in Chicago, I still have memories of the cars that our neighbors drove. There was red haired Mrs. Marx in her gold Sedan de Ville convertible driving to the race track in Arlington Heights. Jerry LaPak on Sunday afternoon, washing his black 1963 Fleetwood on his driveway. The Sanders had the 1964 Black GTO, Eli Graubart had his 1963 Sedan de Ville green convertible, the oddball Weiss family drove a 1970 Audi, the Bergers had a 1968 Ford Station Wagon, Henry Gurrentz had the 1976 Eldorado Convertible. Mrs. Haggard Johnson parked her blue, two door, Ford Maverick in the driveway and rarely drove. We had the 1966 Pontiac Catalina that always died in the bitter Chicago winter and later on we bought the 1972 green Oldsmobile Delta 88 convertible.
Every year the cars were significantly different than the year before, and they didn’t look at all like each other. An Oldsmobile didn’t look like a Mercedes, and there were no Lexus, Acura or Hyundai around.
Now I ask my readers: who can picture a 1999 Toyota Camry as compared to a 2005 Toyota Camry? Who knows what a Dodge Caliber looks like? How about the Hyundai Elantra? When the stylists do take charge, they come up with clumsy ideas such as the Cadillac.
The 2006 Cadillacs have monstrously oversized front headlights that pair up with a Godzilla like grill for an aggressively ugly style. Yet the macho posturing is strangely mute. There is no whimsy or artistry, chrome, fins or ornamentation that once marked the Cadillac. Every edge, from the lights to the windows to the hood to the trunk, is sliced straight. What sex appeal is there in straight lines? Have you ever wanted to make love to someone with a body of right angles?
[“Look at that ass, it’s like a floor tile!”]
Detroit has become as fearful as a TV development exec. Imitation, of Japan and Germany, with their “superior engineering” is driving the look of American cars. They are pretending to be those bland, scientific and quiet Teutonic and Asian machines.
But we Americans are loud and brash and we like to roar when we have fun. Why can’t our cars return to the time when showing off was just as important as fitting in?
Detroit needs to grow up and act childish again.
Here in Van Nuys 