HOSPITAL STABBING

One of my friends has a wife who works as a nurse at Valley Presbyterian Hospital on the graveyard shift. Last week, she was on duty when two men, visitors, asked what room a particular pregnant patient was in. When the nurse went to check, the men snuck around another hall and entered the room. While there, they stabbed a visiting boyfriend and ran out of the hospital. My friend’s wife entered the room to find blood everywhere. The victim survived.

SLUM MALL

Ori B. Fogel’s slum mall is at the NE corner of Victory and Kester. It is the one with the gutters full of trash and illegal aliens standing outside by the dozens everyday, where graffitti is sprayed on every weekend and the side of the building has no illumination and an illegally parked blue van. This same mall has no criminal activiity according to an email I got from Tamar Galatzian, Deputy City Attorney:

“Since I’m a City Attorney, I primarily get involved in crime problems. That’s why I was looking for a criminal component of this mini-mall – but I can’t really find one. Most of the trash is probably not even from the mini-mall. That being said, I don’t think I’m the right person to pursue this. Have you spoken with Cardenas’ office or the VNNC about this? I’m happy to get into contact with the correct person at both places and see if they’re interested. Sorry I can’t be of service, Andrew.”

DELANO STREET: WHERE OLD COUCHES DIE

There are perhaps two dozen discarded sofas on the sidewalks of Delano Street between Kester and Van Nuys Boulevard. The city has graciously instituted a new policy (via 311) where shopping carts are picked up to prevent neighborhood decay from overtaking an area. But here’s an even better idea:

LA could take over an empty lot, that could serve a couch cemetery. Donors would be paid $50 for every sofa brought there. If the cemetery took in 500 couches a month, that would be $25,000 well spent. Here is the name I suggest: Cementerio del Sofá.