Looking through Craigslist, I found this gem for an interior design associate in West Hollywood. Prozac needed…

“Full-time interior design associate needed.

You need to be passionate about interior design…well-read, up-to-date on the happenings in the interiors world….knowledgeable about the top interiors firms in the US and abroad….if you don’t know the best of the interior design world, please do not respond to this ad.

Be prepared to show visuals of those firms whose work you like, dislike and explain your opinions about them. If you don’t know the work of Jeffrey Bilhuber or Michael Smith, please do not respond to this ad.

Ours is a busy, frenetic, fast-paced office. We are a well-respected, high-quality, high-profile, seasoned design firm working in both traditional and contemporary vocabularies.

You will be required to keep track of several clients, vendors, fabrics, colors, and furniture simultaneously and be able to speak about them at a moment’s notice. High level of information retention is mandatory for this job….and the ability to communicate effectively and accurately about every aspect of each project. If you can’t keep track of several things at once, do not respond to this ad.

You must be incredibly concise and accurate and be proficient on the computer. Your position writes proposals, purchase orders and invoices, and given the high cost of many of the items we sell, accuracy is absolutely key. From correct spelling to conveying complicated, precise information, you will be responsible for the execution, tracking and expediting of dozens of documents and products using a variety of vendors.

Knowledge of the decorative arts/furniture/antiques is mandatory.

If you do not know the difference between Regency and Art Deco, please do not respond to this ad. You will be responsible for the procurement of furniture and decorative items from all over the US…furniture venues, auction houses, etc.

You must be ready and willing to bid via telephone on auction items, track a variety of pieces we are interested in, and be able to communicate the progress and transportation of furnishings from all over the US. You will be arranging shipping, getting quotes, figuring out the most efficient and cost-effective way to get pieces to various job sites throughout the US.

You need to know how to accurately calculate wholesale costs, mark-up’s and retail prices with ease. Our firm has a showroom on the East Coast and we buy inventory for the showroom on a regular basis. Part of your job will be maintaining that inventory on a daily basis and keeping track of each and every item in inventory.

You need to be a self-starter and have the willingness and ability to do whatever it takes to get the job done. Some weekends are required as we do high-level, intense residential installations where knowledge of how to install a $100,000 secretary to the correct light bulb is essential. You need to know the difference between sterling and Sheffield, know how to polish it, and how to iron a napkin properly. Your housekeeping expertise will come into play as we frequently train members of household staff on the maintenance of the things we provide. You need to know the correct height to hang a picture and how to securely fasten it to the wall.

You need to be able to take on jobs from the get-go and work without a lot of supervision. You need to know how to get from Point A to Point B without assistance. You need to be able to drive to job sites and appointments,and show up on time. If you need to call the principal of the firm early in the morning and ask how to get to a specific destination, please do not respond to this ad.

Candidate must possess a sense of urgency. Working in a proactive way, and anticipating the needs of the client and the firm are mandatory. Must be a smart thinker and know how to prioritize short and long-term goals. Most tasks need to be done sooner than later, and your ability to discern the difference is crucial.

The individuals who have succeeded at our firm are those who are driven and excited by the entire interior design process….from selecting fabrics, to client interaction, to generating correct paperwork, to the execution of a job….all these facets occur daily and are integral to the scope of work.

Accuracy and effective communication are key. Reliable information that can be “taken to the bank” is essential…..several phone calls all conveying different, opposing bits of information is not allowed. Those individuals who have not worked out are those who have misrepresented their abilities, or do not have the inclination for hard work and a tenacious attitude to get a job done expediently, perfectly and with grace and elan.

A detailed job description will be provided upon interivew. If you are up to the task and feel you are the right person for this job, let us know. Salary is not a problem here….we are willing to compensate you appropriately depending upon experience and your ability to perform. Promotion and raises are frequent for those who can demonstrate they can produce. “