So What Are You Doing Now?

“So What Are You Doing Now?”

In the slow, humiliating, demoralizing morass of unemployment and joblessness that has haunted this household for over a year, one invasive question has continually assaulted me:

“So What Are You Doing Now?”

It comes up every time I speak to some relative or some former business colleague.

“So What Are You Doing Now?”

They mean well, I suppose, because they are concerned. They have heard of foreclosures, bankruptcies, insolvent and inconsolable family financial tragedies.

Some of them are well off, while some are not. They are older and younger than me, and are professionals, or they just hold jobs that they’ve held for many years.

And they just want to ask, for the umpteenth time….

“So What Are You Doing Now?”

Do they really want to know about how hopeless and sad I am? How I don’t see any future for myself. How I see the sickening parade of celebrities and experts and publicists that pass by my computer and television screens, with their botox and billions and how I will never equal them in the stature the public accords them?

“So What Are You Doing Now?”

Should I tell them about how the EDD denied my partner the right to go get job training in the community college because the EDD does not pay benefits to those enrolled in jobs training education?

“So What Are You Doing Now?”

That Anthem Blue Cross raised my monthly health insurance rate from $240 to $325 a month? Fuck Lieberman, McCain and any of those bastards who stood in the way of planting the stake in the health insurance vampire’s heart.

“So What Are You Doing Now?”

Yes, they tell me in therapy, you have a strong voice. You are fighting back. You are courageous. You will survive.

And aren’t I creating some truly creative work with all of my digital photos and lousy screenplays?

And can’t I return to the job market and work for a TV production company where I will research YouTube videos all day to find clips of athletes falling down and injuring themselves?

Doesn’t that sound delightful?

How I love to hear the gentle inquiry, the concerned voices of those who truly, deeply, madly care.

“So What Are You Doing Now?”

4 thoughts on “So What Are You Doing Now?

  1. Tell them that you are writing and that you are a writer. Because you are a writer. A great one at that! For several years after moving to L.A. I did the whole studio assistant, publicity assistant/slave thing because I wanted to be “important.” I finally realized that I am a writer – a poorly paid writer, that is-and writing is what I am born to do. We have to ignore those celebrities and “socialites” that parade around on our computer screens and focus on making OURSELVES somebody. We can do that through our words – I have faith in that. Keep writing!


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s