Miserable little production companies.


There is a horrible little world of companies in the Valley that specialize in non-fiction TV. They mostly produce those low budget shows that air on venues like the Travel Channel, HGTV, the Discovery Channel, etc.

They are housed for the most part in broken down and shabby offices in unfashionable sections of North Hollywood or near the freeway in Sherman Oaks, in smoggy Glendale next to the bike repair shop or behind an auto repair shop in Studio City. Dusty black mini blinds, acres of VHS tapes, push pins and peeled off tape line the walls under the harsh glare of the flourescent. Sodas, red licorace vines and chocolate kisses provide nourishment for the overworked.

Young and already disillusioned production people are lured into these shops where they toil away at absolute drudgery logging tapes or making runs. A succession of past prime, middle aged producers who long ago exhausted any sense of fulfillment, carry their briefcases through the halls, begging for a two month gig writing lines for shows about Jesus and the psychics or murder victims and their families. A bitter staff of accountants and receptionists make certain bills go unpaid and calls go to voice mail.

The owners of these companies (some of whom now live in Hawaii, Toronto or E. Hampton, NY) used to pay for health insurance, but they long since gave up any semblance of concern for the workers. Most of the toilers are non-union, will never know what a pension or benefit looks like, never will earn residuals for the hundreds of thousands of hours spent in these utterly thankless jobs. They stay until late at night and you can see some of them smoking cigarettes on the sidewalk, dressed in t-shirts and goatees. If epitaphs could be written for 25 year olds in the prime of life…..

Executives at the “network” as they are called, must also worry about their jobs, as they critique and create silly notes about scripts, advising on how to “tweak” acts, cut dialogue, or tell an editor to re-edit something that should never have been shot on film in the first place. They fear for their jobs as well, and are forced to produce busy work just to justify to their bosses their own employment.

Free lance video shooters, art directors, costumers, craft services persons, all are paid abysmally for their one or two day contributions. They have no union, only pride in the job they do. They are independent and like to stay that way and enter enslavement at these awful little production companies only because they wish to avoid bankruptcy.

The product created at these shops is laughably crude, cliche ridden, artless and forgettable: Haunted hotels, on a-dime decorator makeovers, fastest road hogs, amazing guitars of the stars—junk TV to fill the stomach of the beast called the entertainment world.

You read a lot about the celebrities and the stars, the newly successful producers of such shows as “Lost” and “Desperate Housewives” but one never will hear of the hundreds of lost and desperate non-fiction slaves who staff these rotten little places which pockmark the San Fernando Valley.

There is no future at any of these companies. They are hanging by a string, and may close shop at any minute. Yet like drug addicts looking for their next fix, entertainment resume senders still aim their pleas at the doors of these pathetically indifferent places.

Costco and a word about Washington Mutual


What is it about Costco that could lure a man of taste and discretion into its vulgar and grotesque circus of obscenely super-sized items? It’s a place where hundreds of thousands of square feet are devoted to the sale of big bulky sizes to people of big bulky size.

Here are four foot wide plasma screen TV’s, size 48 men’s Wranglers, 8 romaine lettuces in one plastic package, four gallons of milk, 4 gallon glass jars of Santa Barbara olives stuffed with pimentos, two pounds of sliced Swiss Cheese, 72 Louisiana jumbo shrimp (probably caught on the flooded streets of the lower 9th Ward), 48 Eggo Waffles in one box, 8 foot long leather sofas, 1000 Excedrin, 128 ounces of Nexis shampoo, 48 jumbo tampons, 500 DHEA testosterone inducing pills…..a pharmacy, a pizza stand, a bakery, garages to service your car, a travel agency, a carpet and blinds store and photo development.

The answer is that you “save money”. Yeah, right. If you buy only five items, you are going to spend around $50 because nothing comes in a small individual size. You cannot buy just one paper towel, you must buy eight or twelve or twenty-four. If you are a family, buying groceries for the “week” you might spend as much as $150-$300. Maybe this fits into the budget of folks who pay for everything with a wad of cash–but for every other American on credit, Costco is a fool’s paradise rip-off worse than Las Vegas.

Costco is full of mostly polite and helpful workers when you can locate them. Apparantly, they are paid well with nice benefits…as compared to the international sweatshop known as Wal-Mart.

Politeness is also in the air at my bank: Washington Mutual. They are becoming even more customer friendly. Bank tellers who have never met me, total strangers that is, will say, “Is that all I can for you Andrew?”
How about addressing me by calling me “Mr. Last Name”. This obnoxious, and seemingly Californian habit of using the first name for a restaurant reservation or when servicing a client, is an example of our low brow rudeness and misguided friendly informality. We do not become more caring by invading the space of others by addressing them by their first name. Titles are courteous, and engender respect and some objective distance between two persons. In the military they will only answer, “Yes, sir!” and could be court marshaled for answering anything else. When reporters question President Bush they don’t say, “Hey, George…what do you think about…..?”

Many Americans call the French rude. If you can find a place in France where total strangers call each other by their first names, send me an address and I will fly across the ocean to document it for myself. In California, the kewl culture of kiddieland infects and degrades adulthood.

San Francisco Streetcars and Hitchcock.


The above photo is courtesy of San Francisco based photographers Laura Maish and Bill Storage (bstorage.com). Their work documents the exquisite beauty and fragility of that city by the bay. Like New Orleans, another unique metropolis at death’s door, San Francisco radiates life, culture , individuality and a sense of place. Knowing that a tremendous catastrophe may come at any time, the city of fog, hills, bridges and subtlety still has guts underneath its gentility.

I cannot think of the city without recalling Alfred Hitchcock’s “Vertigo” and “The Birds”. Coiffed and manicured Melanie Daniels (Tippi Hedren), who fought an attack by winged killers in an allegory of nature gone mad (“The Birds”) while dressed in green silk Shantung suit, is the perfect fictional representation of San Francisco.

Hurricane Racists.


Richard Cohen of the Washington Post opines today that President Bush is not racist for his slow and bumbling response to the suffering down South. I agree with him.

Bush haters (and I’m one of them) have been quick to jump on the President for his alleged racism. “If the hurricane victims had been white, he would have sent troops and rescue boats quicker.”

Well the hurricane mostly affected whites. Not the New Orleans populace, but the Mississippi whites who live in Biloxi and surrounding areas. They too have suffered immense damage to their homes, their lives and their city. The white people of Mississippi have also not seen FEMA, have also called the “emergency” services number and gotten busy signals. They are suffering and they aren’t black.

Nobody who lives in America can argue that race does not figure in our thinking. My own reaction to the behavior of the people inside the Superdome who raped, beat and terrorized one another merely confirmed my worse suspicions about black Americans. No Republican forced the gang rape of a seven- year old girl. No GOP politician made anyone carry weapons inside of the stadium. Conditions inside were less than human but it was the behavior of the human beings that is most disturbing.

When the poor nations of Thailand and Sri Lanka were hit by the tragic tsunami last December, strangers and tourists were taken inside homes and give food, water and a place to sleep. When the few tourists left inside New Orleans went outside after the hurricane waters had breached the levees, they were confronted by armed outlaws on the streets. Liberals who make excuses for the impoverished here in the US ought to look at poor Asians who are rich in human values.

We will see many more hurricanes in the coming years. The development of the coastal areas, and federal financed flood insurance along with payola and pork will bring back Biloxi. New Orleans will erect higher levees, and hire public relations firms to dream up great tourist commercials for fine dining and quaint hotels.

But in the land where the Mississippi River drains into the Gulf of Mexico, the same grinding poverty, humid swamp clogged minds and age- old folkways of religious superstition and violence will fester and grow and overtake the Bayou again, strangling vines of retardation around the tree of life.

That is who we are. No politician made us this way. They are merely the enablers.

LAX: Disorder and chaos.





Last night we returned to the International Terminal at LAX where our friends left for Malaysia.

To anyone who has witnessed the chaos and disorder of New Orleans and the ineffectual(!) response of the Department of Homeland Security, this airport will be no surprise. But this is the Western gateway to America for many visitors to America, and it simply is a national disgrace.

When one enters the terminal, there is no direction where to go. Not one single solitary sign directing the traveller. The procedure is to drag your suitcases to the bomb inspection area where you then wait for a shlub to pull your luggage over to the airline check-in. But how is the traveller who comes here for the first time directed? The answer is they have to figure it out for themselves!

For generations, the airline passenger understood that when you arrived at the airport, you first went to check-in. That situation is now history. You arrive and get your bag checked for explosives. But nobody tells you this!

If you can’t speak English, you’re out of luck. This terminal area has many visitors from Asia and Central America. They wander around like hurricane refugees in the Superdome without any person in charge!

This situation has been going on since September 12, 2001. Cannot Mayor Villaraigosa or the head of the FAA or Michael Chertoff of Homeland Security understand how poorly the terminal at LAX reflects upon America and the city of Los Angeles?

Not one sign to direct! Not one single sign!

Das March of Der Penguins



In what could have been a satirical news story in “The Onion”, the NY Times reports today that religious Christians have been flocking to see a National Geographic documentary called “March of the Penguins”. It has now become the second highest grossing doc of all time, just behind “Fahrenheit 9/11”. Conservative film critic Michael Medved has said the movie affirms “traditional norms”. The National Review’s goose stepping Republican Rich Lowry, (a noted biologist?) pronounced it simply “amazing”.

Funny how the box office now leads the pulpit in “values education” and not the other way around.

For a religion that believes in such “facts” as holy ghosts, reincarnation, virgin birth, and the afterlife, all sorts of anthropomorphic qualities are now subscribed to these birds, including protecting the young, sacrifice and of course, “intelligent design”. It is not yet known if the penguins will also ascend to the kingdom of heaven and participate in the great Second Coming.

We should allow animal behaviorists the chance to observe human religious rituals and find out if there are any parallels in the animal kingdom.

Perhaps it is the clerical garb that attracts the devout to the penguins. For in their uniform of black and white, they most resemble nuns or Shiite pilgrims, who must completely suppress their own individuality or face ostracizing and social rejection from the group.

Conservatives must also be awaiting the day when the penguins break off from their iceberg and invade the land to free the elk from the dictatorship of the polar bears and bring freedom to the North Pole.