Proactive Code Enforcement.


A few weeks ago, I was walking down my wide and lovely street, first built up in 1936 out of walnut groves. The houses are set far back from the street and the palms line the road, left and right. A friend called it “The Beverly Hills of Van Nuys,” which sounds about right because some 50% of the people here are unemployed and live off the books of good luck and inherited property. Just like Beverly Hills.

A few of the homes, more than a few, are now tarted up with vehicles, piled up on dirt, while other houses have paved over their front lawns to create loading docks with steel garages, yet others are now bedecked with pillars, columns, vinyl classicism, and Neo-Grande Glendalia.  There is a rental house with an illegal 10’ high cyclone fence in front, painted 75% on the outside because the owner didn’t want to spend money to paint it all. Those are the better examples of upgrades.

I thought, rightly, that nobody is in control here. There is no government, no zoning, no regulation to prevent the desecration and disfigurement of older, 1940s ranch homes in Van Nuys. If someone wants to open a psychic business and put up a sign, or if they want to turn a half acres of trees and grass into a parking lot, that is their privilege.

Beyond our street, in the pages of this blog, through photographs and words, I have chronicled much of the small illegalities that plague Van Nuys, from homeless encampments, to squatters who pull shopping baskets full of trash together to make wagon trains of garbage. I have reported, hundreds of times, dumped mattresses, beds, couches; and got the city to repair potholes and clean up un-swept shopping malls. 

This article concerns building codes, not codes of behavior, so no mention will be made of sex workers and johns, burglars, taggers, dumpers, or the family of three who parked in front last week to eat their two large pizzas and thought it polite to dump the greasy boxes along the curb until we came out and called them to shame them.

And our neighborhood presently, is in the third year of fighting the removal of hundreds of inoperable, flammable, polluting vehicles from a backyard, just after we finished the fight to evict a drug addict from a home he didn’t own, a few years after we slugged it out to prevent an adult treatment facility from operating out of a ranch house, and a decade and a half after I first took photos of the still rancid and slummy mini-mall on the NE corner of Victory and Kester owned by a Belair millionaire.

In between there were empty homes owned by absent landlords who just let their places sit and fester while paying on hundreds of dollars a year in taxes. Those homes were now sold and are occupied by struggling families paying $5,000 a month mortgages.

And who on my block can forget the four year old fight to cut down a 100’ tall dead eucalyptus that threatened to fall and kill anyone nearby, or to tumble down on electrical lines, or collapse on houses and kill their occupants? It was finally cut down, ¾ of the way, for free by LADWP, who were convinced, with my neighbor holding her infant son and young daughter on her arms, that please, please, do something so our families are not living next to this deadly thing!

This is the continuing tale of how it is to keep and apply the civilized norms of suburbia to our neighborhood whose natural inclinations are less than reputable. 

The pigs run the show here, their sty is our hood.

So last week, I came out of my house and found that I had been written up by the LADBS, which runs a “pro-active” division of inspectors who walk around an area and cite those violations that threaten to pull down an area into a swamp of impoverished, unmaintained and unsightly dwellings.

My violation is now online, part of the official record of my property and in the public record.

Some of the trim on my house is peeling and needs to be repainted.

The LADBS pro-active brigade is actually writing up official notices about cracked paint and letting homeowners know that big brother is watching.

I spoke to the inspector’s office, downtown, and was informed, nicely, that it is a courtesy notice, not a more serious building safety violation. 

But still, c’mon, please tell me that the only time the government comes to visit, the only moment in twenty years I remember of pro-activism, all they can do is write me up for alligatoring house paint.

I’m on it though. 

That plan of mine to get a new dental implant will have to wait another year.

Cinnamon Politics.


Cinnamon Politics

A few months ago, I walked into a Santa Monica dry spice store that my friend and I had dismissed a few years earlier.

It seemed ridiculous to us, that people, in the farm-fresh and organic era, would buy dried spices and spice blends at premium prices, and also waste money inside a store where the edibles sat in glass bottles in the burning Western window sun, becoming milder, less fragrant and more tasteless by the day.

Yet the business lived on, as culinary mediocrity often does in Los Angeles, eventually thriving in its insipid rendition of gourmet flavoring for chef lite hacks.

But then I came back into the spice store a few weeks back. I gave it another try. Maybe I was wrong.

I bought something called Northwoods Spice: salt, black pepper, paprika, thyme, rosemary and garlic, which the company describes as perfect for chicken or fish.

It cost about $13 for seven ounces. And I used it once or twice with no noticeable or discernible improvement in my food. In fact, the food had come out worse with the addition of the Northwoods Spices, giving baked chicken the flavor of something my mom might have cooked in 1975 Lincolnwood, IL served with Uncle Ben’s rice and creamed corn.

Equality’s Front Lines

Today, that company sent out an email with an entirely different agenda. They were giving away either a magnet or a cookbook called LOVE PEOPLE with any $10 purchase.

Penzeys.jpg

Further down the email, the owner and alleged author of the email, Bill, talked up his support for “people on the front lines of the continuing struggle for equality.”

Who, really, are the “people on the front lines of equality?”

To some they are students screaming to take down President Woodrow Wilson’s name at Princeton University. To others, like me, equality is often accomplished in a quiet or modulated voice: teaching, reading, praying, thinking, writing, to postulate ideas and reform minds, and argue, through logic and insight, for the reform of certain societal inequities such as equal pay for women and men.

The mob, screaming and tearing up for You-Tube, is the curse of our time. The Arab Spring, so liberating online, has burned up in the Saharan sands and splattered blood from Jerusalem to Paris to Mali. Millions protest. But not one speaks freely.

But, here in America, The Spice Man speaks freely.

He tied in the struggle for equal rights to the strange events in Ferguson, MO, where, in 2014, Darren Wilson, a police officer, shot to death Michael Brown, a black man who had just robbed a store and roughed up its owner.

A grand jury later decided not to prosecute Officer Wilson. And rioting followed after this legal decision.

So why bring this tragic event into a way of advertising your spices? The killing was an epic event, a turn of racial history, an explosion of anger, an invocation for rioting, an example of passion gone amok. To employ this police/pigmentation tale of violence to market spices reduces its enormity to triviality, and grounds it down into mere cocoa powder.

The seller of garlic powder, turmeric and thyme, whose exposure to worldwide aromatics evidently endows him with insight into all senses of the human condition, then compared police reform to Catholic priesthood reform, linking the two institutions, which have no relation or logical connection, but obsequiously praising The Catholics and The Cops for “coming a long way from protecting their own no matter what, to understanding that not everyone has what it takes to do the job.” Perhaps The Spice Man and his unessential oils belong in the latter category.

A scandal about police brutality, a scandal about child abuse, and now (to my mind) a scandal of a salt salesman using the most controversial and unsettled issues of our time to push his product.

Bill’s presumptuousness, his wise ignorance of imagining that his clientele shares his views on the proper role of police, on racial profiling, on police tactics, on law enforcement-all of it- sickened me because it used sensitive and philosophically critical issues in the service of selling spices.

In this strange marketing email, he also praised the Milwaukee police department for “an incredible forward-thinking outreach to our city’s homeless community.” In old America, before the 1980s, the police arrested people sleeping on the streets, not only because it was illegal, but also because it was unsanitary and unsafe. And gutters, park benches, alleys and dumpsters were deemed not fit for human habitation.

Strangely, there are still people, (like me) who think that there should be a law against allowing people to set up home on the sidewalk. Tolerance of it allows it to grow and become a movement of its own, normalizing the cruelty and barbarism of it, and giving a free pass to liberals to walk from their Range Rover with the handicap sticker on it, right into Studio City Lululemon on Ventura Boulevard, past the old lady who has slept on the metro bench for six months.

So now the police, as cited in Milwaukee, are expected to be the ambassadors of graciousness to the mentally ill, and to people made mentally ill by living outdoors in urban filth.

But back to The Spice Man.

He thinks he knows his customers. He thinks he knows them because sells them political opinions, set out in marketing blasts, better kept to himself.

He ought to make a better product before he jumps ahead to planetary reform.

Spices, kept out for too long, lose their potency, like old bromides.

 

 

 

 

 

Reporting Housing Code Violations in Los Angeles


One great tool, that the City of Los Angeles and its Department of Building and Safety provide, is an online form that can be used to report housing code violations.

Some of the quality of life problems that plague this city are actually reportable violations. These include those garage sales that go on 52 weekends a year at the same address; inoperable vehicles stored on a front lawn; nuisance structures that are boarded up and abandoned; empty lots with overgrown weeds; illegal dumping; illegal signs; etc.

Here are some additional categories that practically encompass the definition of what it means to live in the city of Los Angeles:

  • ADULT ENTERTAINMENT (CLUBS, CABERETS, BOOK AND VIDEO STORES) IN AN UNAPPROVED AREA.
  • AUTO REPAIR (MAJOR) IN A RESIDENTIAL ZONE.
  • BLOCKED OR NONEXISTENT EXITS, PASSAGEWAYS, YARDS OR WINDOWS.
  • COMMERCIAL AUTO REPAIR ESTABLISHMENTS IN VIOLATION.
  • COMMERCIAL JUNK YARD (INCLUDING AUTO DISMANTLING) IN VIOLATION.
  • COMPLETED UNAPPROVED CONSTRUCTION (WITHOUT PERMITS AND INSPECTIONS).
  • EXCESSIVE VEGETATION: DRY WEEDS, UNTRIMMED TREES, ETC.
  • GARAGE CONVERSION INTO A DWELLING OR STORAGE WITHOUT APPROVALS.
  • GENERAL BUILDING MAINTENANCE REQUIREMENTS IE; BROKEN WINDOWS ETC.
  • GRAFFITI VISIBLE FROM THE PUBLIC WAY.
  • HOME OCCUPATION (BUSINESS OPERATED FROM A DWELLING UNIT).
  • VIOLATIONS PERTAINING TO HOTELS AND/OR MOTELS.
  • INADEQUATE PARKING SPACES.
  • MISCELLANEOUS COMPLAINTS THAT ARE NOT OTHERWISE CATEGORIZED.
  • NOISY FIXED EQUIPMENT IE: POOL EQUIPMENT, AIR CONDITIONERS ETC.
  • OFF SITE ADVERTIZING (BILLBOARDS) WITHOUT THE REQUIRED PERMITS.
  • ON-SITE ADVERTISING EXCESSIVE SIGNAGE ADVERTISING GOODS OR SERVICES AVAILABLE ON SITE.
  • OPEN EXCAVATIONS, PITS AND OTHER HAZARDS.
  • OPEN STORAGE (STORAGE OF ITEMS OUTDOORS) IE; CONSTRUCTION MATERIALS.
  • OVER HEIGHT FENCES IN THE REQUIRED YARDS.
  • PACK RAT CONDITIONS.
  • PARKING IN THE REQUIRED FRONT YARD OTHER THAN ON THE DRIVEWAY.
  • POOL CLARITY AND OTHER POOL MAINTENANCE ITEMS.
  • POOL ENCLOSURE NON EXISTANT, IN NEED OF REPAIR, OPEN GATES, ETC;
  • PROPERTY NEEDS PAINT OR WEATHER PROOFING.
  • RECYCLING CENTERS OPERATING IN UNAPPROVED LOCATIONS OR AFTER HOURS.
  • SECURITY BARS PREVENTING REQUIRED EGRESS.
  • STORAGE OF INOPERATIVE VEHICLE(S) ON PRIVATE RESIDENTIAL PROPERTY.
  • STRUCTURAL HAZARD; IE. FAILING SUPPORT OR RESTRAINING SYSTEMS.
  • TENNIS COURT LIGHTS, FLOOD LIGHTS, ETC.
  • TRASH AND DEBRIS ACCUMULATION.
  • UNAPPROVED ALTERATION IN A HISTORICAL PRESERVATION OVERLAY ZONE.
  • UNAPPROVED CONSTRUCTION IN PROGRESS.
  • UNAPPROVED USE OR OCCUPANCY.
  • VACANT BUILDING OPEN TO UNAUTHORIZED USE.
  • VACANT LOT WITH TRASH AND DEBRIS.
  • VIOLATIONS NOT OBSERVABLE FROM 7:00AM TO 3:30PM MON.-FRI.
  • YARD SALES NOT MEETING ACCESSORY USE AS DEFINED IN SEC. 12.03 L.A.M.C.