I have been watching the latest HGTV “Dream Home” unveiling of a monster 5,200 square foot mountaintop mansion packed full of furnishings, knick-knacks, and a brand-new 2007 GMC Yukon.
Located in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina, “Down the road from the city of Asheville”, HGTV calls the Lake Lure home , “one of the most dramatic locations ever”. Local craftspeople contributed traditional elements in the home: hand-made railings, forged hardware and bark siding. There are also a few rooms that every house needs: a wine cellar, a project room, a sitting room, a sky bedroom, an attic bedroom, a bunkroom, a doggy dream home, a fire pit, an exercise studio, a sauna bath, a guest laundry room (not to be confused with the owner’s laundry room), and seven bathrooms.
For ten years, HGTV has been promoting these obese fantasies and advertisers have jumped on the bandwagon. Literally every single item in this home has a link on HGTV’s website. You can buy candles, dishwashers, shower heads, lamps, quilts, rugs– every single thing your eye can see.
And what about the “lucky winner” who actually beats the other 40 million contestants and ends up with this bark covered dinosaur? Misery, the IRS, and debt. Don Cruz and his family won in 2005 and according to this article,they owed $600,000 in taxes and had to sell or else they would go bankrupt.
It’s fun, in a pornographic way, to look at these enormous and “amazing” places. But imagine if you could afford to live in one? You would need a staff of 12 just to dust the floors, clean the shelves, polish the 35 lamps and clean the 25 foot high windows perched above the cliffside. What if you needed to get a half gallon of milk and had to drive three miles down the mountain? This house is an albatross. The seven bathrooms, the endless kitchen countertops, the 30 foot high ceilings with light bulbs that will one day burn out, the electric and water bills! Who would have a moment to relax in running this monstrosity? It’s enough to make you want to rent a studio apartment in Manhattan.
Here in Van Nuys 