Here in Van Nuys

This nation stands on the verge of a meltdown, a situation that has gone virtually ignored in Congress, in the White House or even in the press. I speak, of course, about the complete collapse and utter vapidity and sad destruction of ABC’s “Desperate Housewives”.

Last night’s season opener was completely baffling. The women found themselves with new children, new boyfriends, and missing boyfriends, missing husbands and missing children. Some people had inexplicably aged 15 years over the summer, while others had remained the same age.

Some of the ladies looked exactly the same, while the most attractive one had put on 40 pounds and looked 10 years older.

There was very little that was funny or dramatic and one can only surmise that a production which holds its audience in such contempt by drastically altering storylines and characters for no reason, has also forfeited the loyalty these viewers once had.

I cannot watch “Desperate Housewives” anymore. It really, truly sucks.