Photo credits : Shannon Cottrell/LA Weekly.  Mosaic: by HIVN.

The other day, emerging into the sunlight, at the LA Fitness parking lot, in Universal City, I was confronted with the painful sight of five cars with out-of-state license plates: Ohio, Wyoming, Virginia, Tennessee and Iowa.

These are the new immigrants to California. They are mostly young, white, tattooed and illiterate, post-collegiate settlers.

I see them hogging up the freeway, and texting while driving. Many of them are sub-intelligent, and speak in grunts and groans: “Yeh” or “Hey” or “What’s up?”

Compared to the well-groomed and nicely mannered young people who immigrated to California 50 years ago, this bunch seems to have no manners.

They are taking some of the best jobs in California and some of the worst ones too.  Real Californians are now almost completely shut out of the job market.  Waiters, receptionists, valet parking, graduate students, personal trainers, bank tellers, retail sales—every once viable occupation is now taken over by people under 25.

Many of these recent immigrants live like pigs. One young woman I met, a native of Massachusetts, kept moldy French fries under her bed for months. She smokes pot and actually made one of her male roommates into her boyfriend.  She has a backyard full of dog shit.  These are the type of people that are now crowding the Golden State.

Their blank faces and gleaming white smiles cannot hide the devious truth that they are almost all out to get married, get rich, get famous and find happiness.  They greedily eye real estate, hoping to buy houses that rightfully should be occupied by real Californians.

And many of these lazy young people sit for hours in coffee bars and cafes, talking about idle gossip, surfing the Internet and sometimes even asking their parents for financial help. Most of them lack health insurance, while many will get sick and then depend on health insurance to pay their medical bills! Others are addicted to such exotic and useless hobbies as video games, yoga, running, drinking liquor, music downloading, and chin-ups.

It’s time that the people of California followed the example of Arizona and made immigration a top priority for law enforcement. The social fabric of our state is decaying, and California will no doubt become just a repository for the young and the useless, the confused and the ambitious, the intelligent and the stupid….in short just a magnet for young Americans who contribute too much and too little to the problems of this state.

2 thoughts on “The New Immigrants.

  1. Your theory and conclusion are not connected, unless you are saying California should not allow immigrants from other states or countries.
    As to the out of state plates issue, I have been trying to get anyone willing to listen that we have a major source of income being lost, as many of these out of state plates belong to people who have resided in California for way over 5 years, not 5 minutes or weeks.
    And do you think anyone in Sacramento cares? Apparently not!


    1. The essay is a satire.

      I guess the point is that one can blame a whole set of problems onto any group of people if you have enough imagination.

      But I do understand that it is a misdemeanor to have an out-of-state license plate on your car if you have lived here for more than 20 days according to the DMV.


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