Category: Media

Bravo’s new reality show, “Flipping Out” is all about a residential real estate investor named Jeff Lewis who finds “undervalued” homes in L.A. and then sets upon them to rid them of any defects or deformities so he can turn around and sell them for profit.

I liked the show. I flipped a house in 2004, here in Van Nuys, and even under pressure, financial and legal, enjoyed the experience. Mr. Lewis has a list of daily items that must be accomplished by his staff and contractors, and demands they do their job well. What is wrong with that? He also takes his dogs for acupuncture and consults a psychic. That’s about average behavior in Hollywood….

People keep saying that the market has changed in LA, that the days of flipping and making a profit are over. I don’t see it. The homes in the upmarket areas of LA keep going through the roof, and even the poorest areas start at half a million.

Mr. Lewis has the gay eye that can determine where a lamp should be hung, a planter placed, a sink installed. He can differentiate between dove gray and sky gray, and knows which lavender compliments his custom paved driveway. We need more people like him in Van Nuys where shoping carts and mattresses are considered appropriate lawn decor.

And Mr. Lewis, if you need another assistant, I’m available. I’m a former employee of Lauren Lexton.

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On Your Feet!, originally uploaded by PortugePunk.

I want one too. Suddenly, my 2006 Nokia is looking like a 1938 Bell System desk model.

I finally thought of a great idea for a phone:

You pick up the receiver and turn the rotary dial and it connects you.

No walking around with a phone in your hand. No disturbing phone calls while you are eating dinner out. No confusion about selecting a ring tone, or surfing the web.

Here’s an even cooler idea for a phone:

Make the first two numbers, letters, and call it an “exchange” so that 6-7 becomes ORchard 7-1239. That would be kind of cool. Every city and town in the USA could have their own unique sort of designation. Make it regional and interesting.

It always comes down to it: a man with a gun. This is the American terrorist. He has no religion. He doesn’t kill for God. He just kills to kill.

The bloodbath at Virginia Tech: red blood on red state soil, tears, sorrow, prayer and vows “to never let it happen again.”

What will we hear next?

The mercy of Jesus, the inhumanity of man, the right of Americans to own firearms, the influence of Hollywood, violent video games, angry teens, mental illness.

What will we do to stop the madness? Are your children safe at school? What are the signs to look for when someone is ready to kill?

College: an open place of open ideas, as vulnerable as a sleeping infant in a crib to the lone madman.

But still, we don’t kill as productively as Iraqis. We may suffer this once every ten years, but this is what they go through every single day.

Yet what we choose for our nation, and the DNA of our national character, will eventually be dramatized in how we murder each other.