For about a year I’ve become aware of the trend for drivers to back into parking spaces.

It’s one of those trends, that once it catches on, no matter how destructive, selfish or boorish it is, we know it is here to stay.

Imagine you are driving into the parking lot at LA Fitness in Van Nuys, and you see a parking space which is shaded by a lovely Desert Willow, a small-to-medium sized tree native to the Southwest and Northern Mexico. It has fragrant blooms in shades of pink or white, and is drought tolerant. There are dozens of these lovely trees planted around the asphalt lot gardens of the gym.

You want to back up into the space where the limbs are hanging, but you don’t care about the tree. Your SUV is all that matters.

The branches of the tree are unaware that they are not supposed to grow into the space where someone is backing up a Cadillac Escalade.(base price $91,000).

The driver of the Cadillac sees and hears the scratching claws of a branch hitting her back door and is furious. She marches into the gym and yells at some helpless desk person who is struggling to survive on $18 an hour pay. “Look at my Cadillac Escalade! I pay $2,220 a month for my vehicle to drive to this gym and nail salon! How can you tolerate this parking lot of trees!”

Missing from the dialogue in this blog are the expletives, the ugly tattoos, the dumb face pumped up with lip fillers who drives this vehicle.

Word gets up to highly intelligent managers of LA Fitness that member cars are sacrosanct and must not be impeded by the inconvenience of a Desert Willow.

The gym then hires a tree hacker to go into the parking lot and kill all the trees that are impeding the backing into a space drivers.

Here is the murder scene: