Building the Self-Esteem of Properties.


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A recent run of work inside a Ventura Boulevard real estate office brought me into the world of those listings, words and photos, meant to build the self-esteem of homes.

I speak of the Multiple Listing Service (MLS) and its breathless descriptions of current residences offered for sale.

Awkward, ill-proportioned, ungainly, ostentatious, oversized, outdated, gaudy, trendy, remodeled, modernized, updated, whatever their individual personality characteristics and physical appearance, once they had undergone descriptive transformations via agency wizardry, they each emerged as self-confident houses ready to graduate into acceptance of offer and transfer of title.

As anyone who spends time in Studio City or Sherman Oaks knows, there once existed a lovely pair of communities where tree-lined streets and charming cottages co-existed with larger and wealthier hillside homes. But lately, the obliteration and demolishing of sweet little places and the replacement of small and human with enormous and robotic, has become a frenetic, greedy and exhausting activity.

6 bedroom, 7 bath, 5,000 sf houses on 7,000 sf lots, and every single one of these places as indistinguishable as pennies in a piggy bank.

Their owners are an exotic lot of ethnicities whose names are unpronounceable but mostly sound like San Fernando Valley streets spelled backwards.

4533 Casa Grotesqua was purchased in July 2014 for $795,000 by Kraproom Namdoow and Sordec Notluf. And after a $60,000 kitchen upgrade was sold for $2.1 million to Edisrevir Yrotciv, an attorney.

 14432 Moonshine Drive, Studio City is an outstanding 2 bedroom, 1 bath house with walking closets, a two-die for pool, expansive windows overlooking bustling, sophisticated Ventura Boulevard. It was completely remodeled in 2014 by designer Enitlezah Agneuhac and features stone ground fountains, heated toilets and high security children’s playrooms monitored by close circuit cameras. It is now offered for sale at $2.1 million.

The real listings on the MLS are too grammatically mangled to reprint here. If they were homework assignments handed in to English teachers in any 7th grade class, they would all be graded F.

But why bother proof reading listings for houses selling for one, two or three million dollars?

When your mortgage is $9,000 a month, there is very little time left over for reading or writing.

May 15, 1994.


Twenty years ago, I packed a large green duffle bag, boarded a plane and flew from New York to Los Angeles.

On the flight, sitting beside me: Julie Garfield, daughter of actor John Garfield. She was an acting teacher and gave me her card.

I rode a van from LAX that travelled circuitously through the old city. It climbed up hills and down into the worn and painted-peeled stores along east Sunset, eventually making its way into the San Fernando Valley.

I moved in with a college friend- a tall, lumbering 31-year-old woman in pageboy hair, in therapy, in torn blue jeans and white oxford shirts. She rented a two-bedroom house on Teesdale Avenue in Studio City for $1,200 a month. And worked as a freelance TV producer (Woodstock ‘94; Saturday Night Live).

When I arrived, she was sitting on the back sunroom porch, smoking and talking on the phone. A high school era VW Bug convertible was parked in the driveway.

“You know what I mean…” was her introduction to endless monologues about her recent breakup with a comedian. She slept, until 10am every morning, on a white puffy bed under a chandelier, kept many cans of diet soda in the refrigerator and never emptied her ashtrays.

I paid her $100 a week and told her I would stay until I found a job and could move out.

I looked in the back of the Hollywood Reporter and mailed out resumes. And followed up with phone calls, eventually getting hired as PA for a small production company on Laurel Canyon.

It was summer in the San Fernando Valley: headaches, afternoon naps, walking down deserted Moorpark to a sweltering ice cream parlor with plastic sheeted windows. And working out at Bally’s basement gym in Studio City, a strange, creepy place where old guys masturbated in the showers all around me.

I had run away from New York, from my parents in NJ, setting up a life in a city I really didn’t like.

At the end of the summer my roommate was due to return.

On September 10th I cleaned the house and waited for her arrival. But she didn’t show up. She later called and said she had changed her mind and would come back September 19th. Then September 19th came and went and she wasn’t home. She never phoned.

On September 30th, her father called from Woodland Hills and said his daughter would be coming back on October 2nd. He asked me to leave her key under the back door mat. She arrived on October 5th. Without apology or concern. It was her house. Right?

It was my first introduction to the intrinsic selfishness of Los Angeles: the glib invitation, the plan forgotten, the lunch date blown off, the return flight missed, the good parent stepping in to save the bad adult child.

I learned that for some of the people who live here, only they matter.

She really didn’t care. Who was I? Somebody who lived in her house, cleaned and cared for it, planted flowers, washed floors and changed light bulbs.

We later fought because I told her that I had an overnight guest in her house sometime over the last four months. She screamed that my $400 a month did not give me the right to have friends over. She threw me out. We never spoke again.


That summer I went online for the first time and learned that there was something called the Internet with a dancing wizard whose wand conjured up websites.

That summer I drove around Burbank and Hollywood dropping off tapes to post-production facilities and learned what motion control and Barham Boulevard were.

That summer I ate alone at a Thai restaurant on Ventura Boulevard and met my future partner.

That summer I watched KTLA as a white Ford Bronco went down the 405 while helicopters, reporters and cameras tracked it for miles.

That summer I learned that there would no longer be front store entrances to enter, that I would go from parking lot to parking lot, that my walking would be on the treadmill and that restaurants stopped serving food at 9pm.

That summer I learned that summer would go on past September, into October and November, and start again in February.

That summer I came to a place where people without jobs own houses and cars, bad restaurants are beloved, and a friend’s success is the saddest thing on earth.


There would be no more clouds or rain. And the quaint old houses with front porches were inside Warner Brothers’ back lot.

Part of me died twenty years ago, the part that saw my life as a crew-necked male ingénue wandering the historic streets of Manhattan; invigorated by life, by potential, by the thrill of urban exploration.

Part of me died inside, even when the outer part found love, bought a house, wrote stories, took photographs, and woke up in a house surrounded by fragrant flowers and glistening grass cut and manicured weekly.

When the first hot days bake the asphalt and the blowing desert winds set in, I am carried back to the summer of 1994, my first summer of exile, when I blew here like pollen to the western edge of southwestern America.

Regretful

Angry

Sad

Futile

Directionless

Wandering

Aimless

Mercurial

Lost

Haunted

These thoughts. Did I carry them always?

Or were they brought out of me, the day I came to live in Los Angeles?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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4419 Fulton Terrace


Huntington Archives

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I have often passed this apartment at 4419 Fulton, north of Moorpark, and noticed its unique and graphic address sign.  While searching through the archives of photographer Maynard Parker (1900-1976) housed at the Huntington, I came across photos he made in 1963.

Masculine and modern, the squat and flattened lettering, ingeniously aligned with the low slung horizontality of the building, is as much architecture as the architecture itself.   Almost cartoonish and leading into pop-art, it leaves behind the decorative scrolling that marked 1950s apartments whose builders slapped their daughter’s names on building fronts (“Debby Ann”, “Stacy Lynn”) or borrowed from faraway places (Tahiti, Hawaii or Fiji).  The indoor entrance, private and serene, concrete slabs floating across water, marries Japan to Southern California.

If this building is not on a historic preservation list- it should be.

Title:Fulton Terrace Apartments. Exterior. Los Angeles, CA

Architects: Burlew and Liszt.

Creator/Contributor:

Parker, Maynard L., 1901-1976.

1963 May

Contributing Institution:Huntington Library, Photo Archive
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Handicap Parking Abuse.


Lululemon

 

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One of the more egregious and self-centered driving behaviors in LA involves the abuse of the handicapped parking placard.  It is especially prevalent in the richer sections of the city, such as Beverly Hills, Encino and Studio City.  It is almost predictable that if a brand new BMW or Mercedes with a blue sign is parked in a disabled zone, it will be a con.

Such was the case today in front of Lululemon, a sports clothing store selling $98 spandex clam diggers and the $58 Yoga Halter top.  A 40-year-old woman, athletically bounced out from the store, hopped into her Center BMW SUV and sped off down Ventura.

Francisco H./Bridge


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Francisco H./Bridge, originally uploaded by Here in Van Nuys.

Francisco Hernandez near the new Colfax Avenue Bridge, Studio City, CA.

Photo by Andy Hurvitz

Studio City Farmer’s Market.


And sometimes, on Sunday morning, after the gym, I go to the Farmer’s Market on Ventura Place, in Studio City, where I eat a Blue Corn Tamale with Salsa, walk around, and observe and pronounce judgment on strangers who look familiar but whom I’ve never met.

At the eastern end, near Radford, animals and children’s amusements are crowded into the street, under the mirrored façade of an office building reflecting light onto juvenile encampments of goats, chickens, rabbits and ponies.  A large, inflated trampoline hums with laughter and an electric generator.  A little Choo-Choo train carries parents and their popcorn-munching progeny around an improvised track.

There are fathers and mothers of all ages, and they all seem to have children between 1-5 years of age. Observing these parents, one sees education and ambition on lined faces, framed in semi-silver hair, who once came young to Hollywood, in search of work that could be prosperous and creative but found instead:  exhaustion, humiliation, and defeat.

These are not the round bellied, 40-year-old men in suburban Chicago or Houston. They are basically trim, stubble faced, capped in baseball and wearing the team hats of the TV shows they once worked on five years ago.  There is not a 40-year-old who dresses older than 25, and for that matter, there are barely any real 25-year-olds here. Perhaps they are sleeping off hangovers.

These aging crowds, in a street performance which could be entitled, “Facade of Youth” are like plastic and paper, to be constantly remade in the liberal precincts of Los Angeles. Their careers and lives, ever recyclable, will be trashed or used again depending on the whim of employer or lover.

I would like to come here to take pictures, holding my new Nikon d3100 DSLR with the interchangeable lens, but I dare not. A real camera is a real threat to this crowd. It is legal to photograph anyone, including a minor, in a public place, but the new custom, adopted by those whose individual lives might turn up 8,000 entries a piece on Google, is to deplore photographers.

Once, 30 or more years ago, an unlisted telephone number was enough to insure privacy. But today, Zabasearch and BlockShopper would probably uncover the age and home addresses of most anyone walking down Ventura Place with their environmentally correct canvas bag full of organic mushrooms and Meyer Lemons.

There is communal kindness and sartorial casualness on parade at the Studio City Farmer’s Market. It seems that people run into each other and exchange stories about what day care or diet their children are on. With sunlight and warmth bathing the fruits and vegetables, sellers and buyers, one feels marinated in the ideal recipe of life in the Golden State; a cornucopia of the imagined happy life….

But later on today, the market folds, the crowds disperse and the stands go away.

And the cars–speeding, honking and texting– will return and another week of busy unemployment will consume the lives of those who walked and shopped here on Sunday morning.